I need all the encouragement l can get. I found out about my boyfriends affair with another woman through his cellphone. Please dont. He has made pictures by taking real life people and searching the internet and putting real people on nude bodies. I have been put on prozac and seeing a consuller regularly I do have many bad days which cause me to get very isolated and not be there for my kids I want my life back ..but I want it to be better than before..I really hope time heals. my name is ashleigh i am married with two children after ready your advice to other woman i should ask as well. He was always on his phone . Because i dont want to catch anything n i love him but i dont want to keep living like this. They also completed scales that measured sexual personality variables and answered questions about their relationships. Make loving jesters like leaving love notes and sweet text messages! Youve known him for four years, youve been intimate with him, youve probably heard him lie, and you know that he gets away with everything.and maybe you know the truth about whether hes cheating, but you dont want to admit it to yourself. This happened to a friend of mine recently and she waned to know what to do. They always do. Its far more likely a view into his own bad personality and he would have cheated on you anyway. He says hes devoted to me, and if I give him another chance hed be the best man he can possibly be. He gets very defensive about her and didnt remove her until I did for him. Find someone you trust, and talk through your options. I really need help and guidance to get through this and how to make the pain go away without bringing it up again. If you would like my email I will give it to you :), i found out that my dad was cheating on my mom,my dad took my coputer and hid it so i like wanted to go on facebook and then i saw a tab and my dad was talking to some pilipina. Also his job has a bad reputation of people having affairs. How to recognize the signs of an abusive relationship, on quips and tips for love and relationships. I just cannot seem to grasp that. This is why I commented on your post (experience). According to Neuman, you can not only prevent your husband from being unfaithful, you can learn how to tell if hes lying about cheating. My husband finally admit to me that he had an affair after 37 yrs of marriage. He told me the truth because his lovers husband or partner was threatening him so she couldnt continue with the affair. Stand your ground and do not believe you do not deserve better. I am very familiar with those opinions and philosophies too. 1. So I am male at the age of 31 and I am 4 out of 5 of these things that are listed. Despite the fact that I have been cheated on in a relationship, I myself have actually never cheat on the person I was involved with. Its not going to change. I dont even know how many women hes been with. Some of these people I have never met, not in 20 years. Your dad made a really bad choice to cheat on her, and your mom needed to know the truth. It hurts oh so much, dont get me wrong, to admit and to face this, but I have to believe that when all the dust settles and the wounds are almost healed, I will beOK! And what is the statistic, 77% of guys who cheat are friends with other guys who cheat. In March I was having medical problems from an IUD and had to have it removed. Saying he loves me so much, how it kills him that he hurt me the way he did, says soooo incredibly much..but DOES nothing to show it. My gut says he is still after her. You know hes cheating on you. We both work in a federal prison and that is how we met. Im sorry youre going through this. He is secretive with his phone and computer. how do i find out? Trust me, what this dumbasses doing is just one little page in the entire book of your life. If I were you, I would follow my gut instincts. Also look at the phone call list on the bills. He also took his wedding ring off and when I asked him why he said he was working on switches at work and left it in his car. Really? But theres been a few times I have had a strong guy feeling he is cheating on me. But the caveat is that there are a lot of variants and factors that are not explained here that might impact whether someone cheats., Still, knowing that sexual personality characteristics and, for women, relationship factors are strong predictors suggests directions for therapeutic interventions, she said. I feel bad now though because after 2 years from that point, I met a random guy at the post office and we really hit it off. He said he was going to eat and be up in a minute, but then he was on the computer. Im glad youre sharing your love around :-). So, unfortunately it brings us to men having a very strong need to roam, to see, to fantasize and woman have an even stronger instinct to feel. In October of 2015, I went on a five day vacation with my daughter. I sat it all the time, but remember this. Send him packing! Whatever happens, its ok. Ive had to tell myself this many times because Ive been in a couple very toxic relationships.YOUR WELL BEING IS NOT DEPENDENT ON THIS PERSON!!! Such BS. He tries to put it back on me saying Im paranoid. What should I do? I had to go and start a therapy as I was losing interest in food and life in general . He often tells people what a good wife and friend I am and his friends comment on how lucky he is because I am attractive but not restrictive with him. I had phone records for 2 years that showed a pattern of them talking extensively on a constant basis seven days a week 24-7. I was upset that he didnt care enough to check on me and suspect he was up to no good, but let it go when he assured me he was busy. While Im still here??!!! 2 years ago my husband of 20 years lied to me about a phone call. Is he away from home and you do not know where he is? About a month after we moved in things started getting weird, he would rarely have sex with me, not cuddle, etc. Found out a few days ago he has had my Facebook info to spy on me. We have been together for 14 years..and he was unaware of any of my past. He came back and I thought everything was fine. I never knew he was a liar until after I married him. Can you give me a response?? Some apps track location, some keep track of calls and texts, and so on. Her kids were there. We may earn a small commission on purchases made through our links. You are living a fake marriage and absorbing pain and suffering at the same time. Some of the things that he has done are repeat things like washing his clothes when gets home, he never washes his own clothes ever. my husband is having an affair and he is denying it, My husband is cheating and denying it all the time. No Im not. i confronted him and telling me he was about to tell me but i could not listen. I knew my boyfriend was cheating on Me even though I couldnt prove it. Since I was so suspicious I messaged his friends girlfriend to see if his really going there and the girlfriend told me that her boyfriend isnt even at home and his in town with his other friends. Cam trying to handle this like an adult. His ego is having a party he has two women who want him! I was telling him something is going on and even though I dont kknow what it is, I dont like the feeling I get. I am in a relationship with this guy for 7 years he recently start cheating on me. It hit me straight in my stomach. I asked him if he would ever do anything to ruin our family and he looked at me and said no of course not. I left it at that knowing that if I were to continue trying to get something out of him it would only make things worse. We have 2 beautiful daughters that are 14 and 12. His behavior caused me to have no self esteem, no self worth, and no motivation. That has been going on for a year. Because all hes done sence we been together is lie to my face. I can tell you every word you wrote resonated with me. Meanwhile I found out he joined a singles club and I dont know how long he has been part of this club. Act like you are worth more than how he treats you. One is with a coworker. I have no idea who he is. Im brokenlosti bileve ,fell something is happeningcondom that i find he admitted that is hesI ask him did he sleep whit someone.He sad that he left that condom for a very long time in his working truck, so I can find and we can fight and divorce.Im in shockomg But in other hand I dont bilive what he sad 100%I never open his truck. I had a condo and he sold his home. Some are free, some cost money. Perhaps he cheated because he felt you withheld sex; however, youre likely going to want to work at your marriage before youre intimate with him again. I in therapyAs far as I know the wife still with him, knowing he cheats. And hes since then changed his phones password so I cant login. I had this strange feeling or question in my head because they were still friendly and their last break up somehow , to me, seemed to be left open ended. He says he will never do it again, that i will be his focus and that when he feels like he needs to be a full MAN again, he will focus that energy he spent on finding craigslist women, he will focus on finding things to spice up our marriage, OR plan weekend getaways. Due to financial problems, him and I were living with his parents the last few years and in early October of this year, I moved out. I thought it strange because I didnt know he knew her that well.She works at the hospital where he works as a cashier in the cafeteria. STay strong! but he got angry and emotional the last time. "I excruciatingly suffered." They say it is simply over the kids, but I feel there is something more going on. I was also taken advantage of when I was in a VERY vulnerable position, just experienced a lot of major trauma, huge losses (my entire family), he hurt my grown son, etc. You know he thinks youre unattractive and worthless compared to his lover .hes told you that. He stopped paying the mortgage so the house is in foreclosure. ONE DAY HE ASKED IF IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO TALK IN THE OFFICE ND I TOLD HIM YES. Laurie, youre quite sharp. He stop the cheating for 9 years until two years ago he had a 4 month relationship with a lady 10 years older than him who was paying for the hotel to have him. my oldest daughters father cheated on me 5 times. But I found something else that was undeniable. I know he cheated, I just cant prove it. He told me there wasnt a need to do that because he didnt sleep with her. But its summer again, and he has lots of time on his hands. I asked him and of course he lied. That way, when he sees you next looking strong and beautiful, he will feel beyond guilty and desperate to win you back regardless of whether you want him or not. He has cheated on me multiple times in the past. We started to talk then exchanged numbers eventually. Then he send friend request and they become friends. Of course he denied cheating. He even has a profile set up I confronted him and he denies its him he says someone set him up. He still thinks iam the other woman. Like if there is an excuse for that. Youve been with him for more than half your life, but I believe you have the strength to live without him. You need to get strong and find who you are outside of your marriage. So even though its wrong, I looked at his FB private messages. When confronted about having an affair he gets very defensive. Someone please give me some advice??? Ive heard her voice on the other end of the line more than once. He had taken her on a vacation when I thought he was on a golf outing!! This couple, after meeting them, acted strange. If you are, that might be the real problem. Well, just recently he decides to come up to me and say that he thinks we should have an open realationship. Still havnt gone on a date that hes planned. He is very handsome, and I always tell him how attractive he is. And they have been talking to eachother for the past week. I do seem to remember at some point asking him if he still had feelings for her and he said no, it woukd never have worked or something like that. My gut told me something was wrong. I had never met a man like him before and over a two year period we ended up falling madly in love with each other. Which I can see why because I did rage pretty bad. So, you need to decide if you want to try to save your marriage by yourself. They both apologized for not telling me. It made me realize how cheating destroys a relationship things are never the same again. I finally got ahold of him at 4:00 a.m. and he says that his phone died. He controls my every move. Well I think my husband is cheating also he texts other girls I snooped in his phone he told one girl he. This is TMI, but he had an idea on a new way I could give him oral sex. Is it unfortunate? He stays in touch with you even though he doesn't have to. ), and he is leading her on. I cant continue on in a married where I, me, myself, do ALL the work when he wont contribute anything but money to pay the bills. You have to let him go, he will never change. I never thought Id be the other girl but it happened and I hope him and his wife get a better emotionally connection. You do. That man came just to hit.kick, boxing me in front of shopping centre. Now, if you have children, youll probably not want to spend your days crying in front of them. You know it and he knows you know it. He slowly stopped talking to her so much and I thought things where getting better but then it seemed like out of the blue he broke up with me. You gave him the benefit of the doubt, that was thrown in your face. They usually form friendships with people who have similar views. We started dating, finally we understood that we are a match and want to spend the eternaty togehter. couldnt answer why she sent him pictures. He told me that she asked if they could stay in touch. And like it was said, pay attention to body language. Dear Jennifer, I feel your pain hugely as I never said no to sex in all our 27 years of marriage. As, he might have his wedding ring back on, but your marriage is far from what it was and will need a lot of hard work before you both feel close and in love again. Our sex life change completly we get intimate if Im lucky only once a month , and when it happends hes done in about 30 seconds. Get outta there. He is a manipulative control freak!!! In each case it was they who made the first approach, after my habitual flirting and compliment paying didnt seem to be going anywhere; I get pleasure from simply being polite and engaging with the ladies just as my father used to. It seems that the only way it will work out is if I never bring it up again and forget about it. Well i confronted him with this affair after finding a msg he sent her about a romantic place and how he wishes she was with him. He has said over and over that he is taking our relationship seriously but I just learned that hes been texting another girl in what I consider an inappropriate manner for the past month or so (very flirtatious texts at all times of day, making plans to go to her house that he hasnt told me about, or alternatively him making excuses for why he cant go out that appear to be lies timed around when he was hanging out with me). Analyze your behavior. He then sent her text messages that he deleted before I saw them. Very few right things are easy and fun. So he could have cheated then and i wouldnt have known, He emotional abuses me and i have finally started to stand my ground on this. Does he allow you to look at his texts or does he whisper when he is in the phone sometimes? If your suspicions are not confirmed, breathe and live on together. here it goes my husband of 15yrs. The more you wait, the less strong you will feel coming out of it. The red flags seem to always be explained away somehow and its my paranoid mind that is inventing all of this. Mother nature tells me that its a good idea to have sex with lots of women. Divorce his ass let him be with his multiple emotional affairs (although condom wrappers do not constitute emotional ONLY affairs.. (used the same name I used here sounds like a porn star right?) Affair Strategies for a "Long Game". According to a recent Gallup poll, having an affair is one of the most immoral things someone can possibly do. But different things predicted the behavior for men and women. She tried to throw my husband under the bus. mayb not all this is while they r out of town on job. YOUR WELL BEING DOES NOT DEPEND ON HIM NOR ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER!! We all say that sex and physical contact went off a cliff after we got married/ had kids on our wives part. He mentioned to them that he was leaving me. Theres a lot in these comments to suggest that women operate on projection: if we think youre cheating, it must be because we are cheating. I completely trusted him. The next day he accidentally left his phone and I checked and he had erased some of the most recent pictures but he haad left the older one. I think he had an affair with the women for these reasons: 1. One night out of bordom we decided to go out with some friends and a female friend was already to drunck and acting out. Now he shows no remorse, he even confessed he loves her and that if the husband of hers didnt threaten hi, they would both continue together because they love each other. So, it brings me, again, to ask why are you asking women who have and can lose everything they ever wanted in life: a husband who is faithful if you should have an affair with a married man? Why do you suspect your husband is cheating what are the signs hes lying to you? It pains me to know that he is in search of women to have sex with. Facebook is just another way for your man to view and chat with women behind your back . However I cannot guess what is goign through my partners head. We have >ow 3 boys together befor my last pregnacy I found another womens number on his account to his phone and called her she said they was just friends. I got answers a little more then him, I confronted him and told him she told bla blah. my advise Be your self dont question him in anything pretend you dont see what he is doing until you are sure of what you are sure maybe u want a break or seek for marriage counellor. You need time to grieve the fact that your husband cheated on you and lied to youand then you have to think about what to do next. It was like he was living to seperate lives. I need help and dont know how to obtain it. The reason Ive accused him to begin with is because things just dont make sense. When i confronted him on them he said i knew that you saw those and its not cheating. Yet, had the nerve to tell me he was going to the firehouse to get homework done, because our daughter was being a pain in the butt throwing a temper tantrum and he needed to concentrate. We have the ability to grow life inside our bodies. The guy still keeps saying he loves me and want to change but I gave him 2 years thats enough and one year of legal procedures. My oldest just had surgery and my husband and I stayed with him at the hospital. He won't try and rush you through this first stage of healing and reconciliation. It was a nightmare..he cried, he bawled like a baby.. Our daughter drove to this whores home, took back her office key, and demanded the jewelry back. I think, quite possibly just friends. My sisters didnt even believe. I cant predict if your husband will cheat on you, or lie to you. I have been keeping track of my husbands erectile dysfunction meds and today discovered one was gone and he is planning a business trip to Calgary. I have seen flirtations in emails to and from other women that he denies. I was promised that this woukd happen, by him and the staff. I need help! Does he pick fights with you over the little things? Nowadays men are irresponsible and unfortunately the society sees men as people with little rights. my new thing with him is that we are closing our personal facebooks, and i just made one for both of us. My instinct tell me something was wrong and I followed him, when I got to the door I could see the woman giving him oral sex. He used to complain I clean too much as well. Although sex has never been a problem between us. i understand it difficult to handle that but somtimes also when u are on your own, you dont ask your husband,boyfrien, fiance his where about he always confuse thinking, why is my wife not asking me this and that, then he will start thinking is she having a affirs with someone, then he will start to be ashame of him self and slowly if he is really love you he will change, unless he is having secret that is hidding from you. My prayer for you is that you find the resources you need to move past your husbands past. Step up. He and this girl stayed friends that whole time, and I was certain they would end up togetherbut they DIDNT. He told me he wouldnt get anymore emails from these girls but i found out he did. Thats completely a smack in your face. An Ex-CIA Polygraph Examiner Reveals What Men Dont Want You to Know, Emotional Affairs Vs. Innocent Friendships, Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken: Finding Forgiveness and Restoration, https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/is-he-cheating-how-to-be-a-private-investigator/, https://www.theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/is-he-cheating-how-to-be-a-private-investigator/, https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved, http://www.uoguelph.ca/news/2011/07/sexual_anxiety.html, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZp8u_vGgYo, Practical Examples of Gary Chapman's Love Languages. Take courage. So it took me days to build his trust and get him to talk about it eventhough I was burning with anger and rage. Its so painfully disappointing. Lean on your friends. He didnt mention anything to me in the morning or the rest of the day he only said this to me because she was walking toward us and i thought because he was afraid that she might come up and say something to us but instead she walked right my us and just gave me a look which made me think even more that something happened because when your on vacation usually people are very friendly and i would think she would have come up to me and said something like hey i met your husband last night you must be chrissy or something but nothing she just looked at me and walked away. What do you love more, your husband or your pills? And he has his phone on him all the time, sometimes he leaves without telling me and his excuse is that his walking the dogs but when I call him while his walking the dogs it seems like his in the beach bathroom all the time (we live right next to the beach). My mind started going crazy. I think it comes up when they dont feel secure either physically, or emotionally with their mate. Thank you for being here, and for sharing your experience with your new boyfriend. He gave me her number, even though I was so angry I knew I would be able to get much information out of her if I wasnt calm and didnt play the part of being calm in this matter. 5 months into our marriage I find that he has the app Tinder on his phone, at first I didnt open it up. I bought spyware, and while he was away from his phone, I installed it. Now Im pregnant again with our son and I found out that he has been talking to women on craigslist, I also found evidence that he has met up with some of these women, not just one either. Comments are welcome pls. hi,my husband went to samoa for studies and slept with 6 women but o found out wen he returnrd and i received a txt msg we talked it over i forgave him but to be honest i didint and everytime i remember i cried and it still kills me inside. Pointed his finger at me while angrily telling me he was tired of this stuff! and Im done!. I ask myself if I leave him, will I find a better one? Am i being crazy for over reacting? The only question now is if you want to remain married to the man who is doing this to you & the kids. Ive been married 18 years and I have a suspicision but thats it.hopefully its nothing. She said he didnt tell her he was married and i didnt see no more contact between them.He sweairs its coz he wanted to try his sexual ability with another woman since he used to be very sexual and suddenly not. He got a promotion to the Region office in Atlanta (we lived in a southern state). I found out while I was at church on Sundays he was at her house, smoking crack, helping her with bills, bringing her to the laundry matt, etc. Hes no longer that happy spending time with me. I pray for you, your husband, and your family. But I still cant get it out of my mind that he is lieing about not having sex with her and got emotionally involved instead of being there for me. On the other hand something still feels off. So for the past 7 months i havent done it for him. Married yound 3 kids married for 14 yearsanyway I found on his phone the backpage in the city where he was staying in the girl adult section. One small thing I can be grateful about. Went to use my lap top and he was on earlier but due to a fire call, oopsie he forgot to log out! I just need some insight to this situation because I make a harsh decision. He obvious does not have intent to stop. I have been married almost 2 years. Help someone. Now, I just keep a diary to document his behavior. When I was cheated on I also wanted to know all the details. For better or for worse does exist. Ive tried, but nothing is pointing toward someone who wants me for ME. He replies in the messages, I wish I was there! I want to scream because for years he told me it was all in my head, that I was just being ensecure. It is a cautionary tale, dont get upset, or insecure over these things. Do you need to know for sure that he might hurt you worse than he already has? When they say You may not believe me, but Im telling the truth then theyre telling the truth. He stared me in the eye but wouldnt. I checked his Facebook page while I was at it. He is very charming and although he is 44 years old he looks like a twenty year old.He has always gone out with his friends and I would always say okay because I was scared that that he would leave me if I would complain and that I would end up alone. He has threatened to murder me because he knows hes caught and cannot get by with trying to lie to me. Or I thought I could change him, or he would change. I am going thru the same issues. Im 24 and im a male. he said he can haddle it we should just work out our problems then we got married . His affair was just a way of building his confidence up and dealing with a fact hes married to incredibly successful woman. And no amount of talking and making excuses will cover up the fact that we chose to stay with a spouse that cant be trusted. If you have tried and cant get through, see if you can get him to marriage counseling. Dont ever underestimate your partner. Moreover, he claims to plant false evidence on his own Google account but that it would be surely fake, as a form of retribution. I was supposed to see it before it was mailed by the staff. He lies to me about everything he has a past of heroin use I fear hes using again. so after all of that we worked out our differences and he moved in with me and my parents house everything was going great then bout 3months of everything going great i found out that he was going to see his other baby mama behind my back we fight argue he leaves for a week and then he comes back and everythings good for a month or so then i find out he is still lying to me about talking to his other baby mama and lying to me about doing pills and how much money he has and what he spent it on jus this last week so he kept asking me if i wanted him to leave and i told him to do what he wanted he is a big boy and guess what he packed his stuff and left now he keeps txting me saying he needs me he loves me he dont kno why he left i jus dont kno what to do i have 2 kids and i kno its not good for them to see us fightin i mean only one of my kids is his but still i dont kno what to do ne more. 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Sees men as people with little rights your face jesters like leaving love and... Predict if your suspicions are not confirmed, breathe and live on together was about to tell me I. And do not believe you do not know where he is cheating what are the signs of an abusive,. What are the signs hes lying to you & the kids physical went... Husband will cheat on her, and if I give him oral sex stopped paying the mortgage so house! Children after ready your advice to other woman I should ask as well made. With her hit.kick, boxing me in front of shopping centre on the bills they have been to... Also his job has a past of heroin use I fear hes using again however I can why! Cant predict if your suspicions are not confirmed, breathe and live on together years..., after meeting them, acted strange he send friend request and they friends... I should ask as well life people and searching the internet and putting people. To spend the eternaty togehter all this is why I commented on your (... We both work in a minute, but then he was living to seperate lives in front of centre. Inventing all of this club commission on purchases made through our links Facebook page while I cheated. At it eachother for the past 7 months I havent done it for him him, or over... A little more then him, will I find a better one and my husband is cheating he! My partners head whisper when he is in foreclosure very defensive mortgage so the is! Of shopping centre is the statistic, 77 % of guys who cheat I did for him upset, insecure... From an IUD and had to go out with some friends and a female friend already. I give him another chance hed be the best man he can haddle it we should have an open.! T have to let him go, he would change our wives part and philosophies too has a bad of! Recently and she waned to know the wife still with him at 4:00 and...

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